I had worked on this paper for weeks and today the verdict is in. We had done peer reviews and I had corrected everything they’d said. I’d gone to the library every day during lunch to worry over every word. This was going to be it; I had put tons of time and effort into to this one paper. I was going to get an A.

 

As my teacher returned the papers to us, I thought my heart would explode out of my chest. I knew my diligence would be rewarded. After all, I didn’t really try most of the time. I just showed up and received As and Bs; although, I did settle with the occasional C in extremely boring classes. Not this time. I had worked hard.

 

The paper landed on my desk with a thump. There on the front was a D-.

That day I had believed a lie–that no matter how hard I tired, people would not see past my errors. Even worse, I could not see my own errors. I would never try that hard on my writing ever again.

 

I didn’t know it at the time, but my brain works differently. I can read a sentence or write a word, and believe it is on the page. I read words that are not actually on the page sometimes. I also miss words that are right on the page. This is a nightmare for a person who loves to tell stories.

 

You see, my mind plays tricks on me. I can go back to something I wrote, and it will be missing phases or words. My brain processes too fast for my eyes to keep up. There’s a wire loose.

 

In college, an English teacher realized it wasn’t just common grammar errors. She told me I most likely had Dyslexia. She wanted to help me, but I was diagnosed too late for help through the school. So, I avoided the written word, and studied video and photography instead.

 

 

After all these years of sloppy diaries, notebooks, pieces of stories, and a chapter here and there, I’ve chosen to write again. Will it be hard? Yes. Some people will never understand why I make so many mistakes. But, I am tired of being silent. I’ve found my passion: Writing.

Why did you stop writing?

 

 

Edited by Jessica Schmeidler

http://www.jessicaschmeidler.com/