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#author, #dyslexia, #dyslexic, #dyslexicwriter, #faliure, #grammar, #nevergiveup, #rejection, #writing
I had worked on this paper for weeks and today the verdict is in. We had done peer reviews and I had corrected everything they’d said. I’d gone to the library every day during lunch to worry over every word. This was going to be it; I had put tons of time and effort into to this one paper. I was going to get an A.
As my teacher returned the papers to us, I thought my heart would explode out of my chest. I knew my diligence would be rewarded. After all, I didn’t really try most of the time. I just showed up and received As and Bs; although, I did settle with the occasional C in extremely boring classes. Not this time. I had worked hard.
The paper landed on my desk with a thump. There on the front was a D-.
That day I had believed a lie–that no matter how hard I tired, people would not see past my errors. Even worse, I could not see my own errors. I would never try that hard on my writing ever again.
I didn’t know it at the time, but my brain works differently. I can read a sentence or write a word, and believe it is on the page. I read words that are not actually on the page sometimes. I also miss words that are right on the page. This is a nightmare for a person who loves to tell stories.
You see, my mind plays tricks on me. I can go back to something I wrote, and it will be missing phases or words. My brain processes too fast for my eyes to keep up. There’s a wire loose.
In college, an English teacher realized it wasn’t just common grammar errors. She told me I most likely had Dyslexia. She wanted to help me, but I was diagnosed too late for help through the school. So, I avoided the written word, and studied video and photography instead.
After all these years of sloppy diaries, notebooks, pieces of stories, and a chapter here and there, I’ve chosen to write again. Will it be hard? Yes. Some people will never understand why I make so many mistakes. But, I am tired of being silent. I’ve found my passion: Writing.
Why did you stop writing?
Edited by Jessica Schmeidler
http://www.jessicaschmeidler.com/
Angela M Caldwell 
What a great post – thanks for sharing that, Angela!! Anyone who writes puts a bit of themselves into it for the world to see and you’ve certainly done that. I look forward to many, many more of your posts.
Kudos!
J.
Thanks for the support!
Now that you are writing again, please don’t stop.
Thanks Wanda. I plan on it!
Reblogged this on becky's getaway and commented:
I could totally relate to this until I realized I loved to write and if no one else liked my writing, I still loved doing it!
Thank you for sharing on your blog.
Thanks for sharing your journey, Angela. You are a wonderful storyteller with both your photography AND your writing.
Thanks friend.
Thank you so much for posting this. I had a similar experience with a college professor who almost squashed all the creativity right out of me. I’m so happy that you’ve gone back to your passion. Errors can be fixed, but the wonderful ideas that are a part of what you can give to the world can not if you don’t write them down to begin with. Write On!!!!
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Thank you for sharing this, Angela. I stopped writing, or at least letting anyone read what I wrote, after my junior year in high school when my English teacher trashed one of my stories in front of the class. She didn’t give my name, but of course, I recognized it. The most crushing thing to me was that she didn’t attack my writing but rather my conclusions. I didn’t begin writing again until the words just wouldn’t stay inside any longer. I’m glad you reached that point, too!
Blessings,
Linda
Good for you, Angela. Courage – It’s one of the things you got. Here’s to you having fun and learning a lot along the journey. Looking forward to watching your growth! Rob
You go! We all have things to overcome, some not as debilitating as dyslexia, so your resolve will be a real encouragement for many!
I’m so happy that I found you on Goodreads! Well, actually, I think you found me xD @calledhis
This article is amazing, and it makes me sad how many people had such bad experiences with crushing teachers. I feel so blessed to have been homeschooled and having a teacher momma who if anything thought everything I wrote was TOO great xD
It’s so awesome that you have kept writing through your learning disability (I hope it doesn’t come off rude saying that!) it shows such dedication. And like some commenters said, only you can come up with YOUR ideas, even if you need some help editing more than others might
Thank you so much Stefanie. I’m glad my story touched you. Blogging has been a huge step for me.
The next step is publishing my first novel. Thanks for cheering for me.
I made my first attempt at a novel at 19, and didn’t write another one until I was 29. I spent the next 10 years as a concert guitarist. Though I always wanted to go back to writing, I figured I would pick it back up once my hearing finally left for good (I have a lot of hearing loss). The reason I stopped was because of a mistake I now understand: I expected my friends and family to be my audience, and when they didn’t show interest in what I was doing I took it as both a slight and a sign that what I was doing wasn’t worth my time.
The biggest change between my late teens and now is my wife, a woman I met, oddly enough, when I was 19 and writing my first (attempt at) a book. Unfortunately, it took me a long time to marry her, but even when she was just a friend she was always my number-one fan. Just having one person who is interested in me as a person and writer has made all the difference for me.
Totally forgot I wrote an article about this: http://davidvandykestewart.blogspot.com/2014/07/your-friends-are-not-your-audience.html
I will read this! Thank you so much.
This is so awesome. Thank you for sharing. My husband encouraged me. I understand that.
What a wonderfully inspiring story. I don’t have dyslexia, but friends who do have taught me so much– one being that they figured out “workarounds” to get things done.
I have worked on an epic high fantasy story off and on for over 5 years. It is taking a long time because it’s partly a recovery process; I slowly realized the characters my wife and I created were telling our painful pasts, including childhood abuse.
I totally understand that. Many writers have had painful pasts, myself included. Keep writing!!!
I remember having the exact same feeling in high school. Except I was not dyslexic, I just had learned how to do the bare minimum so thoroughly that when I tried to do things “right,” I actually wasn’t practiced enough to put all my effort in the correct areas.
But writing for academics and creative writing is completely different anyway.
Thanks for sharing. Creative writing is very different.
I found your blog thru the 10 minute novelists group & am really glad I did. What a powerful post! It’s great you found your way back to writing!
Yay! I’m so glad Ariel. 😀
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I am so glad to read that you are writing again! You should pursue it, no matter what anyone else thinks about your “style” or any errors at all. My partner is dyslexic and, like you, was not diagnosed early enough in her academics to work on a plan and strategy around it. She spent most of her 20s thinking that she should just avoid what she wasn’t good at. The truth is, she love stories – reading them, viewing them, and she is an amazing proofreader. These are all things she was told would “never” work for her. To hell with your naysayers. Keep writing!
Great post. I hear there are certain fonts that work well for people who are dyslexic. Now I’m trying to remember which ones. I think there was one that was an all caps one someone I knew used when writing.
Very interesting. My eleventh grade teacher told me I couldn’t write. She nearly destroyed my passion. Thankfully, it’s so much a part of me, I had to return to it. But I lost several years of writing as a result. I’m glad you found your answer…
It’s funny how one person’s words can have so much power. I’m glad you’re writing again!
i enjoyed your post. I think it’s great that despite difficulties you go ahead and do what you’re passionate about. Way to go!!
I would be so happy if you took a look at my latest post and maybe more 🙂
http://abigaildaybyday.blogspot.ca/2015/05/a-hot-mess.html?m=1